28 Comments
User's avatar
Kimberly Warner's avatar

Such a lovely tribute to your talented mother! I love hearing stories about those first moments of encouragement and what can blossom from them. In your mother’s case, a field of valuable, beautiful sustenance.

Expand full comment
Robin Payes's avatar

Thank you, Kimberly. So true that my grandmother’s early show of support for her daughter’s gifts turned into a lifetime passion. I love your tribute: “a field of valuable, beautiful sustenance.”

Expand full comment
Alycia Buenger's avatar

I really enjoyed this tribute to your mother - thanks for writing it <3

I'm so curious about this interplay between mundane daily life and making art (for a living or not); it's even more fascinating to consider your mother's point of view, as someone for whom 'making money' was consider immoral (I'm assuming - since you say 'unladylike').

so many thoughts come to mind!

Expand full comment
Robin Payes's avatar

Thanks, Alycia - I don't think she considered it "immoral" - she was very much of a capitalist, although she often reiterated how it was not possible to "make a living" as an artist. Meaning you could sell a painting here or there, but as far as a living wage, that was reserved only for the few. And often, in her mind, the "undeserving few."

It was more the idea of "selling herself" - self-promotion was considered unladylike in her day. She considered her making of art a hobby, even though she also knew she was very much a professional.

Paradoxical, I know. But aren't we all a little complicated?

Expand full comment
Alycia Buenger's avatar

the idea of self-promotion remains an odd concept - on both sides, I think? the similarities and differences between then and now are fascinating. (and the paradox! an unending path to discovery maybe?)

Expand full comment
Robin Payes's avatar

I think the paradox was that she felt her artistic gift and her work weren't always recognized or given the respect they deserved. In fact, I would even venture, she didn't feel enough self-respect to claim her gift as a professional.

Expand full comment
Prajna O'Hara's avatar

Beautiful story. I love your mother. Wow what a fantastic woman with a deep question.

Thank you, Robin

Expand full comment
Jen's avatar

This is a lovely piece Robin and so wonderful to read a little of the long life of another woman who asked this question time and again, that we still find ourselves asking now. I am still taking her - and your - words of advice, and I thank you so deeply for them ❤️

Expand full comment
Robin Payes's avatar

Yes. This is a different time. You got this!

Expand full comment
Veronika Bond's avatar

What a beautiful memory of your mother!

What is Art? ~ indeed...

The question also loomed large in our family, where my father was the artist, inspiring various young students as an art teacher, and some of those students became celebrated artists.

Expand full comment
Robin Payes's avatar

Thank you. I am curious to learn whether you, too, somehow received inspiration from your father the artist, Veronika?

Imho, your art form is language, or "languaging," as you've written about it. That process, or act of using, investigating and interpreting logos is also an act of creation, or re-creation :)

Expand full comment
Veronika Bond's avatar

Well, I've certainly inherited my creative talents from my father, but I cannot say he has 'inspired' or encouraged me in the way he has done for his students. It is true, my creative medium is definitely writing, or languaging, and I consider myself a 'language artist'. And although this love for and being at ease with language was certainly there from a young age. But the development as an art form (as to be witnessed now) only emerged much later in my life.

Expand full comment
Robin Payes's avatar

Hats off to you, Veronika, for finding--and defining--becoming a language artist. Innovations in artistry!

Expand full comment
Veronika Bond's avatar

Thank you, Robin 💗🙏

It's been a long journey (and ongoing)...

One thing I've learned is this: if you know you are creative and struggle to find, or settle on a specific creative medium, there is a distinct possibility that you may have to create a whole new form of expression, a new artistic medium.

Expand full comment
Judith Boyers Gee's avatar

I can never help thinking about your mother and mine and how the my mom used to say how nice it was that they were in the same school together and your mom would corrected her and remind anyone who was listening that my mom was a grade older than she was!! … I think she even said it at her 100th birthday dinner! Well… they’re probably still talking about it “up there”!

Expand full comment
Robin Payes's avatar

Found you here, Judy. And yes, I think they must be still talking. And since, at the end, my mother lost her voice, and your mom couldn’t hear, they ended up mainly talking to themselves ☺️

Expand full comment
Robin Blackburn McBride's avatar

Beautiful tribute, Robin! I love the pictures of your mother's work, her lifelong question, and her confidence. How wonderful that she encouraged you to write. She must have been so proud of you.

Expand full comment
Robin Payes's avatar

(Oops--misplaced my reply to you below, Robin.)

I know she was proud of me in many ways. In fact, it came as kind of a shock that, after she died, as I was going through her sketchbooks there was drawing-after-drawing of "little Robin" - me in various stages of growing up. She had never showed them to me.

I think I was her muse, in some way. But it was only her conception of who "little Robin" should be. I was not yet a teenager, with a wondering mind of my own. I could not talk back to her or sass her from the pages of her drawing pad.

Yes, she encouraged me to write, but mainly as a personal act of expression (at least initially). But she definitely would not approve of my writing about family. "Don't air your dirty linen in public" was the rule at our house.

Expand full comment
Judith Boyers Gee's avatar

(I hope my comment about your mom and mine found its way!)

Expand full comment
Robin Payes's avatar

I don’t think I saw it, Judy. Can you repost here?

Expand full comment
Judith Boyers Gee's avatar

I can’t find it- I wonder whose “face” it fell on!!

Expand full comment
Robin Payes's avatar

Haha - maybe something about how our moms were friends beginning in first grade and for the next 94+ years. (It technically could even have been true!)

Expand full comment
Sheri Handel's avatar

The story of your mother's early beginnings and her mother's support is especially beautiful. Thanks for sharing!

Expand full comment
Robin Payes's avatar

Thanks, Sheri. I do think it was unusual, especially in my mom’s family, where making and saving money, business and investing ruled the day.

Expand full comment
Robin Payes's avatar

It’s true, Prajna. That question really took hold of her. I’m wondering if she’s found answers in the life beyond life? May have to sit with that question!

Expand full comment
Robin Payes's avatar

I think so, in her own way, Robin.

Expand full comment
Michael TenBrink's avatar

I really appreciated this piece. And I loved the glimpses of your mom's art in the photo of you. Beautiful work!

Expand full comment